Ah, look at all the lonely people

today marks a week
the loneliest of the year
so far
i don't know how long it's been since i've cried so hard
so many rules
to follow in this game
and i only know a few, so sorry if i make a mistake
like this one
but it could be alright in the end
you don't know if
everything will be alright

i can't wait to wear the shorts again
and lay in the sun
to close my eyes and see beautiful memories
of dancing in the sun
and last night was alright
because amy gave me a flower
and the guy was nice to me, which i had not expected
and the people around were not like me
only a cigarette could have made it better
but cigarettes are bad for you,
so they say
but it was alright
it made things okay for the night

i want you to know that i'm still crazy about you
i still want to lay in your arms
i still want to look in your eyes
i'm still in love with you
i'm still in love with you
i still think about you all the time
i still say your name at night
i'm still in love with you

i just needed some things to change
sorry if i made that unclear
is it too late?
do you think it's too late
to save anything?
the damage may be done
and the wounds dug deep
so i will do nothing but sit and watch
watch how this unfolds.

twenty-eight and bored

some things in life are just hard.
and this may not be one of them,
but it sure does feel like it.

le premier fois

One:
little girl
fooled by the pretty lovebird
by all its bright feathers
and melodious voice
but she did not see its sharpened nails
nor the fleeting habit
that made her heart sad
each time she watched it fly

one or two
kisses from you
kisses to her
c'est le premier fois
i have the cage
the golden metal bars are cold
and the handle is breaking
but sing us a whimsical lullaby
and all of it will simply float away

two:
how long she waited in days
for the lovebird to fly home
and return again
and when she heard its song
the one memorized because of its familiarity
her heart jumped
and her eyes watered
with her arms outstretched, she waited
to welcome home the tired one
to gaze upon its bright feathers
to hear the familiar song
and she smiled
mais non, this routine was new

c'est le premier fois
c'est le premier fois

never never

the roof is calling our names
displaying a nice sitting place
and as we climb out the window to see the sun
a smile can't escape from our face
the next day is occupied
with marathons and tubs of butter batter
and watching the world run past our feet
knowing that at this moment nothing but this matters
see where the wind and the sea blow your sail
because we won't be seventeen forever
and right here right now
we can get away with anything and never never
forget a single day.

cartainly not there

she shuts the car door behind her
closing out the heat and regret
and she doesn't look back
and she was unsure of coming tonight
but is sure in this
that she must get out
that she must get away
and of this she is sure

and the windshield wipers mimic her mind
the rain makes it hard to see
but the lights from the cars are bright
and she just wants to be home
wherever that is
certainly not where she came from
certainly not there
he used her again

the words that needed to be said
were smothered by their tongues and cigarettes
before and after
it was the same as last time
the sheets still black
the couch still soft
and his hands still roamed

but as she drives
she tries to forget but can't stop thinking of the night
and how she wanted it
and how he wanted it
and how sick she feels now

but this is no different
it has happened before, and will happen again
this is no different.